I’m fed up.  Really. I don’t own the road – contrary to my wife’s statements about me. I just want everyone to follow the rules. Like turn signals. And slow down at a friggin yellow light. Rules of the road people. Use ’em.
Yesterday, I picked up my daughter from tutoring, and went to go pay for the registration for my SUV, then got the other two kids, then a run to Payless Shoes, then dinner. Yes, that that order. In the 2 hours I was on the road, I yelled at 4 people, flipped one off, and 1 of those were in my neighborhood. Waiting to turn left, and the person in the opposing lane just slooooows down and turn on street I’m on. and putts along, and then against TURNS into a driveway. No singal.
Some a&^ in a F250 King Ranch was turning into the feed store on Spencer. No turn signal and he stopped short, no warning. He got a honk. Really meancing from my Nissan.
Some kids zoomed around the corner on his scooter, did look as I was about to round the corner IN MY VAN, and cut in front of me. Anti lock brakes don’t make near the same effect in the quick stop to scare the %&#$ out the moron in front of you. Didn’t even look. They’re from Cali-forn-i-a. Twits.
So, in my quest to punish those that never are, I’m requesting designs for hiding a paintball gun in the engine area of a vehicle. You should be able to shoot thru the grill of the car directly in front of you, just below hood height. If you’re good, they’ll never know who it is (oh, and change which vehicle it’s after about 2 weeks – that’ll keep the suspicion off).
Someone stops short?  SPLAT!
Some runs a red light RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU? SPLAT-SPLAT-SPLAT-SPLAT!
Some kids runs out in the street after a ball in front of you?  SPLAT! and, when their pansy liberal, my-kid-own-the-whole-@$^&ing-street come running at you? SPLAT SPLAT! Right in the crotch too – that’s gonna hurt.
Brand new Mecedes SUV illegally parked? SPLAT SPLAT! and a “Friggin liberal!” inside your car.
It’s gotta be covert, cuz you know leaning out to tag the speeders will probably get you a trip to the pokey if the cops see.
Yessir. The covert traffic violator tagging system. It’s a winner, folks. I’ve got a money maker on my hands and instant gratification. Even better than cat pr0n.