{"id":9,"date":"2006-12-21T23:06:31","date_gmt":"2006-12-22T05:06:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/stringer.cc\/blog\/?p=9"},"modified":"2006-12-21T23:07:37","modified_gmt":"2006-12-22T05:07:37","slug":"things-are-bigger-in-texas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/stringer.cc\/blog\/2006\/12\/21\/things-are-bigger-in-texas\/","title":{"rendered":"Things are bigger in Texas"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A Texan is drinking in a New  York bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He  hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for  everybody in the bar announcing his wife has produced a typical Texas baby boy weighing  25 pounds.<\/p>\n<p>Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Texan just shrugs, &#8220;That&#8217;s about average down home,  folks &#8230;.. like I said, my boy&#8217;s a typical Texas baby boy.&#8221; Congratulations showered  him from all around, many exclamations of &#8220;WOW!&#8221; We heard one  woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains. <font color=\"navy\"><span style=\"color: navy\" \/><\/font><\/p>\n<p>Two weeks later he returns to the  bar. The bartender says, &#8220;Say, you&#8217;re the father of that typical Texas baby that weighed  25 pounds at birth, aren&#8217;t you? Everybody&#8217;s been making bets about how big he&#8217;d be in two weeks. So how much does he weigh now?&#8221; The proud father  answers, &#8220;Seventeen pounds.&#8221; The bartender is puzzled, concerned, and a  little suspicious. &#8220;What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he  was born!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The Texas father takes a slow swig from his long-neck Lone Star  beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, &#8220;Had&#8217;m circumcised.&#8217;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A Texan is drinking in a New York bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar announcing his wife has produced a typical Texas baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"http:\/\/stringer.cc\/blog\/2006\/12\/21\/things-are-bigger-in-texas\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Things are bigger in Texas&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8eb30-9","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/stringer.cc\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/stringer.cc\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/stringer.cc\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/stringer.cc\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/stringer.cc\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/stringer.cc\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/stringer.cc\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/stringer.cc\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/stringer.cc\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}