What is control?

In my daily reads is LifeHacker. A post I was going thru this morning asks, “Are you on autopilot?” then poses these markers to help you answer:

  1.  You are depressed about where you will be in 5 years
  2. Your career is what you parents wanted
  3. You went straight from school to college, then work
  4. You did well in school and chose a college path that was hard to get into (law/medicine)
  5. Your interest/hobbies are the same as when you are a child

I’m somewhat glad to say that the only one of these that comes close is #5.  I work in the field of my hobby/interest: technology.  It’s not really an issue, because the writer points to sports as the key here: you have to start young to make it.  6 year olds doing gymnastics.  11 year olds working on their RISP percentage.  Not really an issue for me:  technology changes so much every 5 years, there something new to learn.

So, what does it really MEAN to be on autopilot?   An autopilot keeps the plane on the same heading and altitude until its turned off.  It means the direction you are going will continue without your direct intervention – winds will push you off course a little, but the autopilot corrects and keep going to the same destination.  While it sounds good, the premise is off.  Why?  The destination.

I think a large number of people don’t have a destination with their lives.  So, the issue of where you’ll be in 5 years comes to “the same place I am now.”  It’s a demoralizing and depressive realization, especially for men. The resolution that your stuck, you can’t grow, you can’t succeed in your own strength – it so invasive, it’s impugned men to resolving to mediocrity.  And, unfortunately, I don’t have a way out – I’ve never been there.  It’s easy to say “do something else” or “go back to school, but when the motivation is gone… well, it just keeps you where you are.

I consider myself lucky to do what I do.  I’m an IT guy.  I’m in a job that always has something new to learn.  I love the hobbies of my youth – video games and computers – and I have a job in one of those.  I’d love to have a job in the other, but there’s not many video game companies in Houston ;).

It used to be I wanted to make more than my dad did.  I passed that when I hit 27.  Then, I had a kid.  A house.  Landed my job with my current company and my goal, attain the top technical title for my field: Computer Scientist.  I did that in the spring.  Now, my next goal isn’t for me – it’s growing my wife’s career.

Part of it is that her career has an excellent chance of succeeding and being more than I’ll ever do working for someone else.  Second, she was in the autopilot mode for so long, with no career goals of her own, that this is her chance to break out and SHINE.  Third, there’s something about people that START their own business.  They have a wildness that pours out into their personal life.  They have a freedom that the other 80% of the workforce can’t comprehend: how hard I work directly affects my pay.

The same feeling when you get your first car, your first job, your first kiss.  That feeling that you did accomplished something.  You’re on top of the world.  You can do anything.

How many of us feel like we can do ANYTHING?  I can – partly because I’ve always been able to do anything I decide I want to do.   What can you do to get that feeling back?

Published by Michael

Hi - I'm a IT Consultant, happily married, and father of 3. My hobbies are building wood things, church activities, spending time with the family, driving and goofing off, not in any particular order.

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